I am writing this in utter confusion and total sadness of heart. I wish
to find some helpful advise here as I have seen a lot of people get
positive relationship advise on this forum.
I am in a relationship dilemma right now and I need realistic directions on how to go about it.
I
met this beautiful lady in my first year in the university(7 years
ago). I am going to be as truthful as possible so you can get the clear
picture. I didn't actually approach her, she did, although she didn't
ask me out but she tried to get close to me for some reasons.
To
cut the long story short, after spending a lot of time together, I fell
in love with this lady, and when I say fell in love, I mean head over
heels. This made it look like true love and destiny to me.
It
took me a long time to realize that my encounter with this girl was not a
mere coincidence. She might have actually planned everything from the
onset. Some of my friends confirmed that she has been stalking me for
sometimes before it eventually happened but up till today, she never
confirmed that fact, she kept saying that she only needed my help for
something and that is the only reason why she approached me.
And
that began a series of lies upon lies from her. Am not claiming to be a
perfect person but she is a pathological liar, she could lie about
virtually anything. She lied about her virginity, about her past, almost
anything.
She was also loosed with guys, she claimed she
preferred having guy as friends because they don't gossip like girls do.
I was not comfortable with this and we battled over this for years
until she at least gave me the impression that she had changed.
Let
me also mention that this lady has disgraced herself and myself in
public due to her crooked and lying attitude on different occasions.
I
have tried to quit the relationship on various occasions but due to the
extreme depth of love I have for her and her seemingly desperate
attitude to have me at all cost, we always come back together.
Sometimes, she involves outsiders to enable me change my decisions. I
think she might actually be taking advantage of my calm nature.
Against
all these odds, we continued dating eachother after we left school. I
am currently a team leader in one of the top consulting firms here in
Nigeria while she works in a school. The thing is she can't make a
complete English sentence without a single blunder(although this is not
very obvious), she cannot cook well, even her family background has a
constant history of failed marriages. Let me just say she is a little
bit on the down side intellectually.
She has rooted herself so
much in my life such that my friends and family already knows her as my
wife to be and she prides herself so much on this fact. She buys gifts
for them. I have introduced her to everyone in my life before I realized
the poo hole I was into.
Now, everytime I imagine myself getting
married to her someday, am in deep sorrow. I have a feeling that my
marriage has already failed before it even started.
I am very
intelligent and brilliant but due to the relationship psychological
trauma, my grades dropped seriously in school. Not to mention series of
interviews and tests I failed while looking for job in those days. Now
that I have a good job, it is also affecting me at work again because am
almost moody majority of the time, I can't concentrate.
Should I
ignore all these things and get married to her based on the love we
have for eachother? or should I ignore what people say and dump her?
People think we are right together even though they dont know the
psychological torture i go through everyday. Age is not on her side
also.
Am so confused.
No comments:
Post a Comment